Tuesday, October 5, 2010
My fate was the one, I thought that betrayed,
To stride fast, to be at the top,
The decision I made, considered as a mistake,
The rules and regulations were equivalent to military regime, that,
Resulted to be “Back to the Pavilion”, as the only thought of mine.
Fed up I was with the strident nature,
The teachers, the officials, all had the same possession,
The perfidious guards were like “Icing on the Cake”,
An idol of honesty but bleak in our case,
The confrontations, the encounter, I had at that time,
Resulted to be “Back to the Pavilion”, as the only thought of mine.
Despite of the subjects of various forms,
Despite of the mandatory class’s norms,
The lectures I bunked that time for elation,
I wish I could do now my 100 percent completion,
I wish I could now be again with those friends of mine,
Seated in the same class, with “Back to the Pavilion” thought, out of my mind.
Blessed I was, to be its part,
Else, where should I have got those memories from?
That was the place I lived up the emotions,
Will miss my pals, proved the last day of dilution,
With changed definition this time of pavilion,
Again I want to be “Back to the Pavilion”.
Friday, August 13, 2010
This is what the lesson I have learned among the pool of various others, the most, during my four years of college life. The different phases I have gone through these four years are really inexplicable. The joys, the sorrows, the emotions, the heartbreaks and desires, and numerous other uncountable feelings have been encountered by me during these four years of college life which surely has left a deep impact somewhere in my mind and hence will always be present somewhere in my memories as “The Best Days of my Life.”
During school days, one use to hear that college and its hostel are the best place where you can enjoy your precious years of life with the fullest and so the saying was real true as I did the same during my college life. The college is not only the place where you’ll be getting full freedom to enjoy but is also the place where you can understand perfectly what life is all about.
The initial months during first year of mine in the college were like a real hell, which was my feeling at that time, and all the credit goes to the ragging period. But as I have said, that the college life has taught me a lot, so among the bunch of various lessons, the one which I learned first was endurance. Now, as I stroll back my memories way back in my first year, I use to think how funny those moments were and the seniors who resembled not less than a demon at that time, turned out to be our best pals after ragging era. Also it was my college life when a phase of sorrow came when I didn’t scored well in exams, but as I have already mentioned about success, I tried my best to cope up with the bests.
It was those four years when I had friendship with few people whom I can say are my best friends now. It was them, with whom I had some of the biggest blasts during college time. May it be the birthday parties, or different trips to different places, or class bunks, or leg pulling of pals and teachers both, all were the one who simply rejuvenated our inner soul and made us to feel like a young lad of five years with no tensions at all and worked as a stress buster, and all these would have been impossible without the presence of friends. So it was my college which provided me with all those stress buster friends who made my life so smooth and so simple over there.
The biggest achievement of a person is to lead to an individual to a right path if he/she is having faith on you. This responsibility also comes on the shoulders of a person in college as soon as he steps into the senior years. The same case happened with me too because I am no exception and hence tried my level best to help out my juniors. It was my college that helped me a lot to make a better person of me and so this always gave me a self satisfaction as helping others is best deed one can do.
It was that place that taught me:
“Live as though the next generation is watching you.”
Sunday, July 18, 2010
“May I Come in Sir?” All the students were busy concentrating and writing down the important points mentioned by Mr. Rajesh, during the very first lecture of the day when a calm, patient and sweet voice distracted the overall attention of the class. The entire forty five pairs of questionable eyes turned towards the class’s entrance, wondering how a student can be 10 minutes late into the lecture room of Mr. Rajesh, the one known for his rules, his regulations and above all, his punctuality, the one who has a record of taking the students, who by chance gets even one minute late straight to the Principal’s room. And this time, everyone was very much clear about the treatment this girl was going to get. Everyone one in the class was waiting for Mr. Rajesh to fire his diatribes, and he spoke. The eerie silence, the breath taking aura soon smelted as “Yes, Please come in”, quoted Mr. Rajesh. The new entry then made her way to the first row to the girl’s side in the class. Yes, it was a new entry in the class, a new entry in a new stream amidst of entire new faces admitted after one month the session started on the basis of some college norms. “Obviously the reason for this disparity from the part of our respected Sir Ji is the topper tag she is having” said Pranjal, with a little grin. “No yaar, this was the first and last time she was relieved by that thug, really, nothing can move him” consoled Pavas. Soon after the bell rang, Mr. Rajesh moved his steps towards the exit but paused for a moment and asked, “What’s your name? I forgot”.
“It’s Natasha Andrews”, replied the new entry.
“Now finally our class got a class too” winked Pavas, and all the three chaps at the “Chai Stall” of Chiru, excluding one, burst into laughter. Ankur still was hearing the echoes of that euphonious voice, still was lost into those deep, intense yet bright eyes behind those spectacles, noticed by him for the second time in a day, when Natasha, being in the same group as Ankur’s, asked “Can I have your file for a moment?” during a lab session. “Are you with us or lost somewhere” reacted Pavas after noticing the desensitized behaviour of Ankur since morning itself. “Hmm....yup...sure sure, I’m here, just wondering when we are going to have our next lab” said Ankur. “It’s tomorrow, why?” asked Pavas. “Nothing, just curiosity” replied ecstatic Ankur.
“It’s been more than two years now. You have been a real klutz all these times,” worried Pavas, the saint of the group, continued, “nothing’s going to happen in this case. Wasn’t that understood from that reaction?” Unmoved by Pavas’s sissy dialogues, Ankur replied “Hmmm....” and continued visualising the to and fro motion, the twisting and turning of the clouds up above, the one on the verge to pour its love on the thirsty soul of earth, as if he was not concerned, but somewhere, deep inside, he himself was waiting for a love to be bestowed. “Let’s go for a walk, I can’t withstand this mourn atmosphere over here”, shrugged Pranjal. “Don’t you care even a bit what your friend is facing right now, we should help him to get out of that” whispered Pavas, secretly into Pranjal’s ears. “Why don’t you understand, he doesn’t need any of us, I’m going, if you wanna come you are invited” was all what Pranjal said and waited for Pavas to react. “I would prefer staying here. You enjoy”, Pavas said and made his way to the balcony, to accompany his friend, leaving astonished Pranjal behind.
“So what was the original reaction of her? Why are you not telling this to me, why are you behaving like this all of a sudden?” inquired Pavas. “It’s been a long time. It was dull, it was dry. Now it is raining.” awkwardly replied Ankur, concentrating lot more towards his coffee than Pavas’s concerns. “There’s no need to appertain my queries with rain. If you are not interested, then I am leaving too.” agitated Pavas said. “No wait, it’s only you whom I can rely on.” was the first normal reaction Pavas got that day. “I have been thinking about this since last few days, contemplating over it, and now I got an answer. Thanks Pavas for that.” continued Ankur. “Your dual contemporary behaviour is totally bouncing over my head. What do you mean by this?” shaken by that reply, Pavas asked. Ankur took his last sip of the coffee. Then observing the cup for a moment, said “Natasha is just like a coffee cup. As the cup is not able to discriminate between tea and coffee, like ways, Natasha too can’t. She is too innocent to fall a prey to, but still, sometimes anyone can fail.” Pavas still observing Ankur with wide open eyes and said “What makes you think so?” “It’s a long one” said Ankur and continued further making Pavas aware about everything, word by word, about the incident which took place way back in May.
Pavas was moved, shocked, still was not believing what his ears heard was real, lost, thinking how wide the spectrum of lie one can extend to for an ascent.
“So how are you going to find him?” asked shattered Pavas. “It’s not a big deal. I have already done my part.” Ankur replied confidently.
“Can’t you shut your mouth even for a moment?” grunted Sheetal. “Well, it’s a tough one for me, anyways; I’ll try for next 10 seconds. Will that much be sufficient?” Ankur said calmly. “Aaahh...you are a gone case.” fuddled how to react, was all Sheetal said. “My pleasure.” said Ankur and ordered for two cups of coffee.
Ankur was not the same always. He’s been one of the most cheerful lads in his group, the stud of the group, cheerful, jolly, exuberant and all similar adjectives, whatever the situation may be, the one, specialist in solving disputes, the one for whom, nothing was bigger than the bond of friendship.
“It’s been more than a week and you haven’t bunked even a single lab. It’s amazing.” said Sheetal, swirling the coffee cup. “Yup, it’s amazing, even for me it came as a total surprise. Now I want to attend each and every lab. Why only five labs are there in a week? They should try to focus much more on our practical knowledge.” Ankur said. “It’s been eight days now. She came to our class last Wednesday and was placed in your group. And suddenly your love for practical knowledge bumped out. Well, is it the love for practical or....hmmm?” came a cute reaction from Sheetal’s side. “No yaar, it’s not like that, actually, even I am also not able to figure it out. I just like to be near her, like my conversations with her and” Ankur was interrupted by Sheetal when she poked in between “Though you haven’t had any conversation yet, but still like it, awesome.” “No, we use to talk very often, I mean, she asked for my file last week.” said Ankur. “Wow!! I’m flat. Ankur, this incident took place last week, and being in the same group, you haven’t spoken anything yet. I was not aware of this part of yours. You can be shy too! Wow..., it’s big news.....Ankur, the shy fy!!!” Sheetal was enjoying. “I don’t know Sheetal why I am not able to speak anything in front of her. I just like performing practical’s at that time. Though I wish, I could, but still.....” Ankur lost somewhere then, thinking when, what he said right now would take its true form.
Sheetal understood what Ankur was thinking. And why not, there wasn’t any single reason she wouldn’t understand. Sheetal had the very same feeling, the one budding in Ankur’s heart for Natasha, since the very first day she saw him. She had been thinking all these days to express herself, trying to emulate all her fears, but never had that level of courage and suddenly now, she came to know about the feelings of Ankur. All now and then, Sheetal had been trying to know the feelings of him, waited for him, waited for a positive response, and now she knows everything, knows the love of his loved one, but, now she wish, not to have wished to know that brutal fact.
“Ankur, I can understand what you are feeling right now. You love Natasha, I know, and you should accept this one.” said Sheetal. “Well, I know Sheetal. But I can’t do anything; I don’t even get a topic to discuss in front of her. I always become speechless whenever I confront her.” worried Ankur replied. “You should express your feelings to her and you have to.” forced Sheetal. “I’ll not, I never will do this, and take my words for granted, I won’t.” backed Ankur and left astonished Sheetal behind.
“Your behaviour is totally invidious. The pinnacle of efforts it might take, but one day I’ll convince you. Now you mark my words. You have to do it” shouted Sheetal from behind, with “and this time, you’ll have to do this for Me.” words, thought but unsaid. “I can’t Sheetal, I can’t.” the echoes from out of sight Ankur’s side, was all what Sheetal heard.
“I Love You Natasha”. Natasha, who was busy, or can say, was bit confused, which one to select among the pile of shirts stacked on the counter, was shocked on Ankur’s sudden caprice. “The collection is quite dull over here. Let’s go to a different....” Natasha trying to elude herself from that situation, tried to switch the topic, but was interrupted at the same instance by Ankur, “Natasha please, I don’t know what to say in this situation, I don’t know how to manipulate things, I don’t know what you are feeling right now, but all what I know is about the immense, pious, serene love I have for you. I have liked you right from the day we first got acquainted. Then I was not sure how serious turn this liking will take place. Nevertheless, I always wanted to be present near you, always wanted to talk to you, always wanted to spend as much possible time with you, but in the last two years, never had this courage to do so. I always had thousands of reasons why you would not be interested in talking to me. I always preconceived your reaction, without having even a single word communication with you. But Natasha, now I don’t want to be the same shy Ankur. I have already wasted a lot of time, thinking about you, thinking, whether I should express myself or not, thinking about your reaction, but not now Natasha. I don’t know from where I got this courage today, but wherever it came from, it came as a boon for me. Today I finally got a chance to converse with my loved one, to express my love to my loved one. This moment will be marked as the best moment of my life and it will be worth living if I’ll get a positive response from your side Natasha. Natasha, I love you, and now, I am waiting.”
The atmosphere was changed. The working staffs at the place got awestruck by that very strange behaviour of their customer. It was first of its kind, the first live proposal they confronted in their life, that too at a shopping place. They were speechless, moved by Ankur’s devotion, waiting for Natasha to reply, though not their job, but still, praying secretly for the stud.
“Well, I’ll think about it.” Sheetal said. “No you don’t have any choice. It’s important, I have to purchase a shirt today itself and you’ll have to come with Me.” forced Ankur. “Ok Ok..... You just be on time. I’ll be there.” Sheetal vowed.
Ankur’s frustration was reaching at its peak in that hot season of may, by not finding Sheetal anywhere near the shop and with her cell switched off, it was like “Icing on the cake”, but suddenly, something came as a total surprise to him, in fact, it was not something but someone. Natasha was standing outside the shop, waiting for someone, as one can guess from her gesture. For a moment Ankur, as usual tried to avoid her, but finally made his way towards her and said “Hi, pleasant surprise, what are you doing here?” “Hi...” replied Natasha and continued, “Sheetal made a call to me, she wanted to do some shopping, asked me to help her. But still, there’s no clue of her.” Now everything was crystal clear to Ankur. Now he understood why her cell is off. Now he knew that she’s not going to turn out today and it will be a sheer waste of time to wait for her any more.
Sheetal planned this thing. She did her part, and because she’s very well aware of Ankur’s state of mind, she was sure her convincing speech would have left an impact on him. She was sure for her trick to work. She knew that now, after two years of long time, Ankur too was making a mindset to tell her and all what he needed was a little push from someone and an opportunity, and she provided him with that.
And on the other hand, Ankur also was aware of the golden chance he was having. And somewhere in his heart, he was deeply thanking Sheetal to have him provided with such an opportunity. He thought for a moment. “What happened Ankur?” inquired Natasha. “Sheetal’s cell is not responding, I was waiting for her too. There might be some problem. Anyways, will you help me selecting a shirt?” Natasha thought for once, unknown how to react, but finally said “Yes...sure...”
Natasha stood there, being struck by that weird behaviour, that unexpected gesticulation from Ankur’s side, unaware of what to say next, simply kept staring at the shirt she was holding in her hand for a moment and then after a minute’s pause, said “Ankur, I can’t help it out. I’ll have to leave right now.” and made her way to the exit, leaving behind, the broken Ankur, the staffs with a pool of sympathy for Ankur, and the pile of unfolded shirts. But to everyone’s surprise, Natasha turned back casually, paced towards shocked Ankur, and said “Well Ankur, I didn’t want to do this, but still, I knew this was going to fall upon me. I knew what your planning’s were, but was not aware that it was going to happen this early. I knew word by word, the dialogue you were going to speak, and you did the same.” Ankur’s expressions were telling what he was feeling right at that moment. He never expected this answer from her. Natasha continued, “Though, all of yours other first loves would have fallen for you, with your same repeated speech, but your fake love pretentions are not going to move me. I know everything about you, about that bet. You have been a real klutz all these times. You chose the wrong girl. You’ve lost Ankur, you’ve lost.” And with these final words, she made her final exit from that place.
Ankur was still not believing what he heard right now. Senseless, motionless, he stood there, wishing for this whole event to turn out into a bad dream. But it was of no use, it was damn real. All what he heard from Natasha was real; each and every line of Natasha was a real life action. Ankur, unknown how to react, simply made his way out of the shop, contemplating, what made Natasha to build that fake opinion about him, thinking, or trying to guess the one behind this rumour, with a transformed image from a stud to a cheat in the eye’s of the staffs.
Ankur’s image was transformed in the eyes of his own and his friends too after that incidence. Now he was not the same Ankur he used to be before this. Now he had only one thing in his mind, his single aim, his single objective, to find the guy responsible for this disaster, to find the guy who brought this blame on him, who earned him the tag of a cheat in Natasha’s eyes. And he was sure this time about his success because it was only few who knew about his love, it was few who knew the dialogue he has been preparing since ages to say to Natasha. And now he knew that it was one among the bunch of guys, who knew about this, the bunch of those guys, whom he considered as his friends.
“I don’t get it. What have you done? Do you know who did this to you?” Pavas asked, in a serious tone. “Yes Pavas, now everything is clear to me. I have figured the one responsible for it and it would have been impossible without your help and support.” replied Ankur. “Well thanks Ankur for this, but what I have done, I mean how I have helped you?” asked Pavas, who seemed to be the happiest person on earth that time. The reason for that immense ecstasy of Pavas was not because he helped Ankur to find out that guy, it was not because Ankur considered him as his true friend and thanked him for that, but because Ankur revealed that he figured the person behind that case, though not mentioned the culprit yet, and now, Pavas was relaxed, because he was sure that Ankur was not going to take his name, he was sure that this time, Ankur made a wrong guess and the reason for this frame set of Pavas was the attention he was getting from Ankur all these days.
“So who is that guy? What should we do now?” innocently asked Pavas. “You know that guy pretty well. He’s one among us. And now I’ll do whatever I have to. I’ve had enough help from your side.” Ankur replied, and lost in planning his next step to be taken, thinking how to deal with that person. “Ankur, I always had this feeling that there was something wrong with Pranjal. I know it’s him; I know he brought this upon you. But, I am sorry from Pranjal’s side, after all he is our friend.” Pavas was taking preventive measures this time, imposing all the deeds upon Pranjal. “Don’t use that friend word from your filthy mouth you son of a bitch.......” bumped Pranjal aggressively into the room enthralling the attention of Pavas.
Pranjal never went out to have a walk, how could he. Since last many years, he has always been together with Ankur, in his good, in his bad and now all of a sudden, how could he simply leave him all alone to stumble. It was all planned by Pranjal. He simply waited outside the room, listening the conversation between the two present inside, waiting for the name of one who was going to be blamed by Pavas to be called out, waiting to see the level Pavas could fall to, waiting for the correct time to move in. And as expected, Pavas took his name. Not only Pavas, but in fact everyone knew about the brotherhood between Ankur and Pranjal. Pavas knew that to remain close to Ankur, to spy over his every move, to always be present near him without his intentions being disclosed, he has to make a separation between the two guys and he played his role, thinking that to be the optimum time, voted for Pranjal’s name.
Now the mist of suspicion was completely gone. Their doubt was now clear. The one they suspected on turned out to prove them right. It was only Pavas and Pranjal who knew about the preparations Ankur was going through since last few days. They were the one who knew the feelings, who knew the way how Ankur was going to express himself to Natasha. There was no chance Pranjal would have done this. The dilemma was much more reduced when Ankur noticed Pavas repeating the same line, in the morning, word by word; the one Natasha spoke that day. The remaining hitch in this case was cleared by Pavas himself when he started blaming Pranjal.
“What happened Pranjal? Something wrong?” reacted Pavas as if nothing happened. “Please Pavas, now it’s too much. Now please stop pretending. Why you did this Pavas?” came an emotional reaction from Ankur’s side. “What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything.” replied Pavas. “It’s enough Pavas, now you also know the fact and we too know it. There’s no need to back off yourself now.” attacked Pranjal.
“Yes I did it. I spread this rumour about you. You always noticed my feelings towards Natasha but you never cared for it. All what you cared for was your own sentiments. I don’t want to give any explanations to you Ankur, but one thing I’d like to make clear. You’re never going to get her. We are destined to be together, and we will.” was all what Pavas said and moved out from that place, deciding never to turn back there ever.
“Once you made a cock and bull story of a bet, that was the fake one mentioned by you, but this time Pavas, I’m really betting on this one. I am going to get my love soon. Now this time, you’ll not be able to do anything, this time it’s you, who is going to get unmasked” Ankur made a solemn vow to himself and continued “and all what I know is that true love never fails. It’s not a contract, it’s not a deal, and it doesn’t need any ‘May Come In’ permission to fall in love, but it’s the one..........which just happens..........the one happened to me.........”
P.S. - The unsolved questions, whether the love of Ankur is true or that of Pavas is, and who is going to get his love, will be disclosed in the next session.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Sumptuous sets, ravishing stories, blend with awesome acting, are the key ingredients for a perfect series and recently I have completed all the five season of a series which have a way far much better points as compared to that of the above mentioned ingredients, named “SUPERNATURAL SERIES” for the second time.
It all started back in my seventh semester when the craze of this series started to flourish and like all others, I also didn’t remain untouched by it for long. The Sam n Dean (The protagonists of the series) saga then became the integral part of my daily curriculum. Gradually, actually only after two or three episodes itself, I fell for Dean (Not literally...... :(). The one liners, the facial expression, the “Damn I don’t care a hell” attitude, the fun making session of his sibling Sam and all those “Deja Vu” stuffs really can make anyone a fan.
But still I think, how can one be so daring, I mean how could one simply bang into a place full of a bunch of bad omens, how could one simply react to a “GHOST” encounter as “Buddy, why don’t u get the hell outta here!!”, I mean really, “Gosh!! How is it possible????”.
Nevertheless, that extra terrestrial behaviour, that out of the world attitude, were simply part of the script.
“But this fact I forgot last night”.
Last night, near about 12:30 – 12:45 AM, I had this feeling of being in one of those SUPERNATURAL FLICKS. A prejudice has been prevailing since centuries long, that 12’o clock is the time when all the bad powers rise.
Well, last night, I was in the outer most room in my home, the boundary of which is attached with that of the Commissioner of my city. His lush green campus with numerous giant trees which makes it a place of beauty in the morning, makes it to be felt like the topmost haunted place at night. So it was then when I was busy chatting with two of my friends, discussing about the semi final b/w Germany n Spain, that I heard a Scream of a women, literally, it was kinda damn weird and in fact only this much, is really a very big deal for a person like me, who gets frighten with all those ghost stuffs damn seriously. But then came the thought of Dean Winchester to my mind.
The one who cast away ghosts with ROCK SALT n IRON. Immediately, for some time I started thinking like those SUPERNATURAL HEROES and thought to take some salt and bang out to have a look what caused that sound?? But, the moment I was about to rise, the coward Amit, who was overtaken by those TV Heroes for some time, warned me not to do so.
And he won, I realised the reality, the need, the demand of that time was realised by me, and what I did next was simply switched off my laptop, closed the television (Without bothering about those German n Spanish Clash) n simply made my way to Mom’s room :(.
Well, now I can say that last night was the one when I experienced the real Supernatural Moment, the one that made me realise that whatever Sam n Dean might be doing in front of the camera, they would have done the same off reel, the thing I did :(.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The apathetic behaviour of the colleagues,
Their resentment and their disbelief.......
The unwanted suggestions that came in my way,
Paved an eerie path full of disgrace......
Was that a mishap or a simple reverie??
That made my life worse or even worst indeed.....
“I will survive”...... was the voice of my conscience,
And no one could refrain me from this thought of mine......
I was the one who endured a lot,
Thought of my glorious past and rose to the top.......
A surge of satisfaction has now filled my mind,
And gave me a reason to convulse and feel divine........
The rise of mine from the deepest point of soil,
Now brings me felicitation from the covetous guys.......
Now I am felicitated by the one who quelled me,
Praised and revered by the one who suppressed me.......
You can call it now my weakness indeed....
But still I remember..........................................
The apathetic behaviour of the colleagues,
Their resentment and their disbelief................
Sunday, July 4, 2010
So after a long wait, finally now is the time when my friends will be again able to read my latest literary works or I should say, now again I’ll have someone to recite my works to, the way I did during my college days (Well in college it was quite different coz I simply had to rush into my friends room to tell them about my every new work, obviously against their consent... :( ), but this time, it’ll be on a broader horizon, with trillions of people being able to access the blog account of an individual.
So here comes my first post, not a poetical one, in which I would simply like to share few of my experiences which I encountered in the journey of making my mindset to adopt the blog culture. Well I belonged to a college which has produced a class bloggers in a very short span of time (Just a sec, don’t be in a frameset that I am praising my college for this, it’s the talent of those talented chaps, who broke into that place, unknowingly). Also they were the one who always encouraged their colleagues to make a blog account, no matter whether that particular was interested or not, KK being the most practical example (KK, I still remember that project lab session where you were giving your best shot to influence some of the guys, may be the reason was to let an increment in the number of “We The People”, and I still remember you saying “Write anything Yaar”).
On the other hand, most of my friends, i.e. Preetu, PJ, Shashi, AKM, Peter and lots more often asked me to join the blog community, the simple reason behind this was that, it was surely gonna spare them from my directly rushing into their rooms and brutally torturing them with....it’s understood, for they being my initial listeners and torture bearers too..... But how can I let them go so easily??
Now I am missing my listeners, having no one to recite to my torturing J and incendiary (Ironically) work to, which now is making me to feel the importance of blogging, the place where I’ll be able to pen down my emotions, my thoughts, where I’ll be able to enhance my writing skills, and also can continue harassing J my friends too.
So here I enter into the blogging realm, with this one being my FIRST POST...........
P.S.- This one’s dedicated to my above mentioned college mates...........